No parents would claim that raising a teenage girl is easy. Once adorable and chattering preteen you know suddenly transformed into an individual who is filled with complicated emotions, want to live isolated and constantly challenging your authority. Do not let panic seize you. There are many parents around you who faced similar issues but eventually raised healthy, independent teenage girls. Here is a complete guide on how to raise teenage girls.
Methods For Raising Teenage Girls Successfully
You need to apply three methods to successfully raise your teenage girls. These are
- Assure that you love and understood her
- Prepare her to handle a difficult situation
- Being a tacit disciplinarian
1. Assure her that you love and understood her
This method consists of several steps:
- Let her live alone for some time if she prefers to
- Observe her condition
- Let her know how much you value as well as love her
- Let her express herself as a unique individual via fashion but cap her limits
- Find out who is your daughter’s friends
- Help your daughter to live with a healthy body image
Let her live alone if she prefers to
Do not get so much upset if you see that your daughter is shutting down her door and live alone for some time. It is natural because she wants herself more independence and wants to handle a situation in her own. In this case, what is definite no is trying to break her privacy abruptly? Instead, try to know calmly in a later time what causes her upset. Is there anything you can do from your side? But never riddled her with so many questions. Every teenage girl spends some lonely time. You as a parent never try to curtail this tendency.
Observe her emotion
Teenage time is tempestuous regarding emotion. So, observe your teen girls’ emotions but not like a spy. If you daughter is down, never squeeze her. Spend some time with her like eating ice cream together or watching a movie. When they are distressed often time they do not want to talk. They need a shoulder to cry on.
Enhance her self-esteem
Let her know all of the good things she possesses and how special she is to you. Never demean her looks. Don’t belittle her by comparing her with others kids. Negative criticism damage both her self-esteem and self-confidence extensively. If she feels that she has less importance in the family, she will try to distance herself. This will not be good for both you and your daughter.
Let her express herself as a unique individual via fashion but cap her limits
She might want to wear something that is provocative. Or she may want to purchase some clothes that are ridiculously expensive. Regarding offensive attire, try to find out the reason. If you see that it is her peers that make her be incensing, persuade her with reason that you cannot accept the style because you deem it outrageous despite some of her friends are wearing.
Find out who is your daughter’s friends
Friends have a significant influence on your daughter’s life. In many cases, either they help her to go up or let her down. So, it is quite important to know with whom she is spending time. One tricky way is to invite all of your daughter’s friends to a dinner and casually asking about their lives. But of course, refrain from to be so intrusive. In that way, you would at least get a cursory but not too substantial idea about all of your daughter’s fellows. But even this general idea is enough to assume whether your daughter has terrible company.
Help your daughter to live with a healthy body image
Never demean your daughter with her physique. This could trigger sensitive emotions within her. Teenagers are fast food loving. So, many of them are obese. If your daughter develops overweight, do not criticize her directly. Convince her that bulky weight is hurting health and she needs to change her food habits as well as lifestyle.
2. Prepare her to tackle difficult situations
This method also consists of several steps:
- Emphasis on safety first rule
- Allow her date
- Make her knowledgeable about safe sex
- Get her ready for her period
- Dealing with mood swinging
- Discuss with her about smoking, drugs, and alcohol
Emphasis on safety first rule
Teenage girls do not like an authoritative parent. That means you need to be liberal. But of course, not at the expense of her safety. For example, you need to allow her to attend a party. That party could end up even early in the morning. That is also ok. But the important thing here is her safety. Make her aware her that what concern you most is her safely. Under any circumstance she cannot pick a drunk driver at 4:00 am in the morning to give her a lift. This could be a precarious situation for her. In this situation, the best thing for her is to call you and request you to pick her up. And you are always ready to help her at every time.
Online safety is another big issue. Teenage girls are exposed to the online world more than ever. And of course, you have no control over it. But from your part what you can do is make her cautious about not talking too much an individual whom she does not know. And meeting with him/her is a definite no.
Allow her date
It is no wonder that when your girl reached her puberty, she will have a boyfriend. You need to accept it with no option. After all, you cannot confine her within her room like a trapped princess. But what you can do is to be open with her and get to know whom she is loving. If you see that her suitor is taking advantage of her, make her aware of the fact. Make her a good judge of herself. Instead of forcing her out of the person, persuade her by telling that from your experience you can say that she is involving in a dangerous affair which will be good for her in the long run. The fact is if you attempt to sever the relationship with force, she will more date with the guy you don’t like.
Discuss with her about safe sex
You need to discuss the topic with ease although she would be embarrassed and squirm. But do not bring the topic when other peoples like her friends are around. This will add salt to her discomfort. Discuss the matter in a friendly tone on the importance of safe sex.
Do not be too bossy here regarding maintaining chastity. Because it may make her rebellious. It is far better to discuss frankly on safe sex instead of letting her end up in a dangerous situation. Stress the importance of only having sex when she is ready with proper cation and not let a guy do something against her will.
Every parent expects that their teen girl would be virgin l at least she reaches eighteen. But the fact is the average age girls lose their virginity hovers around 16 years. So, would it not far better to talk about the importance of having safe sex and even considering taking birth control pills than to preach abstinence?
Get her ready for her period
Like sex, let her know about the period. Give her access to books and website to make her knowledgeable about the period. Making her aware on the different matter of period will stop freaking her out when she will actually start her period. You need to collect pads or tampons beforehand. Many girls get their periods before their teenage. So you should be prepared for this too particularly if your daughter is developing quickly.
Dealing with mood swinging
Similar to a menopausal woman, your daughter will go through many changes regarding emotions when she starts her period. It is because of sudden changes in hormone level.
During mood swinging your daughter may embroil with you even in a trifling matter. But you need to be patient and concede that she would always not be a good manner girl. And at the same time make her understand that this is a temporary situation and she will not go through hormonal changes all the time. she will be a happy girl sooner than later.
Discuss smoking, drugs, and alcohol
Whatever personal views you have regarding alcohol, smoking or drug, discuss with your daughter about drug abuse and smoking. Especially talk with her about excessive liquor consumption because girls at her often indulge in drinking too much alcohol. Like dating, you cannot stop your daughter alcohol drinking. But you need to aware her about safe level of drinking and drinking with care around guys. Also, consult with her drug abuse. How drug can ruin one’s life.
3. Being a tacit disciplinarian
This method includes below steps:
- Do not try to maintain cool parent image all the time
- Never try to maintain a 100% friendship relationship with your daughter
- Outline some base rules
- Give your daughter some allowance
- Motivate your daughter with
- Be a good role model
Do not try to maintain cool parent image all the time
You always want to be a dear person to your daughter. But for your daughter safety, you need to put a firm hand over her, if that is meant to be harsh with her to some extent. For example, one evening she may seek your permission to attend a party. Instead of allowing her instantly, you need to know a few details regarding the party like where it is going held, who are attendees. If you do not like either place or people, refrain her going there. It will irritate her and make you less favorite to her, but you need to do this for her safety. The bottom line is you need to control her delicately not roughly.
Befriend with your daughter as much as you can
It is never possible to build a 100% friendship relation with your daughter. Because as a parent you need to exert some authority over her. But this does not mean you cannot have a funny conversation with her spend an evening doing some fun activities together. What is important here is that create an impression that your daughter perceives you not only an authoritative figure but at the same time as a friend with whom she can share many things.
Outline some base rules
Teenage girls need boundaries. Letting them free doing whatever they like is dangerous. So, it is important you need to lay down some basic rules. For example, lights out. This means when she needs to put out light and go to sleep. Growing teenagers need enough sleep for their better development. But the situation is they often go to bed late since they spend much time online and sleepless. The result is seen when they achieve poor grades in the exam. So, you need to strict here. But also give some flexibility depending on the situation because applying strict rules all the time may turn into counterproductive.
The issue regarding the allowance
not all parents give their daughter an allowance. But if you do, think about carefully about the amount. It is because you need to know what she will do with the money since you buy her clothes and other necessary things. You can also outline a work ethic for her. She cannot expect that all of her expenses will come from her parent wallet. So, she may have a part-time or summer job.
Motivate your daughter with rewards
Teenagers react better to rewards than harsh words. For example, if you say your daughter that if she keeps her bedroom tidy, you would allow her going out on Saturday. But if you use rough language like if you don’t keep your bedroom tidy, I won’t allow you going outside on Saturday. Although the meaning is the same, it is highly likely that they will comply with the first sentence.
Be a good role model
This does not mean you need to be an absolutely perfect man. It is not possible either because we are human. We are prone to make many mistakes. But the thing is set an example by doing what you want her to do. For example, you do not want her to be a gossip. So, don’t gossip about your friends in front of her. This is simple yet quite effective.
we are living in a world where there are so many distractions. So, raising teenage girls is far more complicated. But if you are knowledgeable on the topic that we have discussed above, we hope it will be easier for you and you will become a successful parent.